PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION- PDA

May be, you can brand me that I belong to the old school of thought! Well certain things, if they are done in public, lose their sanctity -that is my feeling. It is like keeping a pack of coffee powder or tobacco or pack of biscuit open they all lose their flavor and end result is total lack of satisfaction!

Way back when we were in school in late seventies, I was in a co-educational school. It was even unheard of if we had ever spoken to any girl in the class, though most of them were from our own streets and used to be friends till they reached class 7 or 8. After that, it was a strict unwritten code of conduct to get segregated and day to day dealings with opposite sex was a taboo! So the present day trend of boys and girls hugging, shaking hands, hanging out together were unimaginable those days.  

When we were in professional college in early eighties, we were not allowed to play mixed doubles in Shuttle badminton and the hostel warden for that matter was termed as Ayatollah Khomeini. Boys visiting girls hostel was never heard off. A few Romeos still managed to hang out near the girl’s hostel and they were looked down by others. Even corporate world did practice segregation of sexes and did not encourage mixing and blending!

When mixing and blending were not allowed where was the question of PDA those days?

Gone are those non-romantic days! It is common these days to find friendly handshakes, patting and hanging out among both the sexes be it schools, colleges, work place etc. It is even common to find people to comfort each other asking “Do you need a hug or something to comfort you? “. But these friendly gestures may not be falling under the category of “Public Display of Affection”.

For the first time I happened to encounter Public Display of Affection in Singapore! Those days we were living in Thailand. Thailand though known to be a very Romantic place, culturally Thais are very civilized and abhor PDA. Barring a few selected zones where only sex sells, by and large in Thailand holding hands, romancing on the streets or public places is abhorred. People who are even involved in flesh trade conduct themselves modestly to avert attention in public.

We were in Singapore during Christmas vacation in 2008.We wanted to see the fire work display on New Year eve. We were in the sea front and reached much earlier so as to get good view of the display. In front of us two kids were sitting. They must be less than eighteen years of age and were very casually dressed up in shorts and shirts. As the night started progressing they started kissing each other. Initially it was in the cheeks and later progressed to mouth to mouth kissing. When they found that we were uncomfortable the intensity of their action got increased in geometric progression. Then the act was becoming too hot and daring with profound noise and all that. As we did not want to lose our seat at that point of time, we had to put up with that. Thus we were entertained doubly one by the fire- works on display and another by the passion which was going live in front of us on display.

Recently we were in the US. PDA is so rampant in the US and no one cares. Probably people have become immune to this or people simply chose to ignore and mind their own business. Apart from hugging, touching-stroking, necking, kissing the cheeks, mouth to mouth repeated kissing, public massage of head, shoulder etc. all these happen in public in parks, in metro stations, railway stations, restaurants etc.

No one can be judgmental on these issues.  These things are based on individual taste, choices, personal preferences, value systems, culture etc.

 But to conclude here is a small episode…We had a neighbor in Chennai who had a small boy of five as their grandson. The boy was loved, doted all the time. One day when we went to their house. After casual talk we wanted to take leave. Someone suggested the boy to bid good bye by kissing. The boy came near my niece and bent so close to her neck and kissed her. On asking he politely told that this is how the hero in the recently telecasted movie kissed the heroine!!