AN ODE TO MY
DAD…..4
In 1984 my father asked me, whether I was interested in
getting married. By then my second brother was in the Indian Navy. Third
brother had just finished graduation and started working. Fourth brother was in
the final year of his graduation. I had met an old couple in Guntur who were
related to a common friend of mine in 1983. When we called on them, he asked me
and my friend whether we were married. We told him that though we had started
our career two years back, we never thought about starting a family after getting
married. He then called his wife of nearly forty odd years and introduced her
as his best friend, philosopher and guide. He said that a man’s perspective of
life changes so very much after marriage for the better, if one gets a “good
partner”!
This chance encounter had lasting impact in my mind. Plus,
when I was in college while doing “Earn While you learn “ programme in the
library, I had devoured lot of books of Reader’s Digest on family, home
economics, parenting etc. Therefore, when my father asked about marriage, I
whole heartedly said that I was ready.
My parents, as per then custom in our community started
looking for a suitable alliance. I had moved to Britannia, Chennai branch in
Jan’1985. In Feb’85 my parents had come
to Chennai to look for a match. I was very clear that I would not go hopping
from one house to the other looking for girls, eating sweets, snacks &
drinking coffee and then rejecting the match for some vague reason or the
other. So my mandate to my parents was that they must do the initial screening
and discussion. I would come just for the sake of the girl to meet me and to
give final OK.
My parents therefore without prior notice landed a day in
advance to meet Jayashree and family on a Saturday. After having stayed in Thirunelveli
district for a long time, we had also become like Thirunelveli people, clever.
Jayashree’s parents were surprised at the sudden visit. After the initial
meeting my father alone came to meet me in Korattur where I was staying then.
My mother had been to my uncle’s house for overnight stay. My father had
unassailable faith in astrology. Therefore, he was keen that I must say OK after
seeing Jayashree. That night he was so much
engrossed in describing Jayashree’s virtues and beauty. He said she was looking
like “Meenalochani” and this and that. I still thank him fervently for having
chosen such a good companion for me, who has always proved to be pillar of
strength in everything I do!
So on 13th Feb’1985 after seeing Jayashree for
the first time in her home and meeting her for a few minutes, keeping my Dad’s
recommendation in mind I agreed to be her life partner!! Our marriage got solemnized
in a grand manner on 22nd May’1985. I had a week of holidays to set up
the house, host a tea party in my father’s workplace (by then he was in Mettur
Dam) and return to work!
After retirement in 1986, my parents moved to Chennai to
stay with us. My father had told me that he would never ever work again. Thus
his main interest was only carrying out daily ritual of Poojas and reading news
paper. “The Hindu” had a great impact in him. The moment the paper arrived he
would start reading the same and after “a glance” as he used to say, the paper
used to be passed on to others. The Hindu was sufficient for him to induce
sleep at anytime of the day / night. After a few minutes of viewing the paper
he would simply doze off.
My father had great interest in my career. At anytime, as
soon as I returned from work I must sit with him and narrate the entire day’s
event to him in detail. Same way after returning from any interview or meeting
I must report to him in total all that had taken place there. When I shifted to
Madurai, then to Kanpur, Hyderabad and then Talegaon he was there with us to
set up the family. Only after ensuring that the family was safe even in my
absence, when I went to office he would leave the town.
Birth of Sangeetha our daughter was a very interesting
occasion for him. The same happened after celebrating his 60th
Birthday in a grand manner in Chennai. We took care to ensure that all
religious ceremonies were performed to his fullest satisfaction. Sangeetha was
on 29th Dec’1986. That evening, I was in Indian Statistical
Institute attending to my Diploma Course. After four sons in our family,
Sangeetha was the first daughter, so my parents were all the more happy!
Whenever my father visited us in Kanpur, he enjoyed visiting
the Ganges to perform rituals associated with no moon day (Ammavasya). He used
to wash all his clothes, dry the dothi on the banks of the river. Then
typically tie in it Pachakacha style. Once when he was doing the pooja on the
banks of Ganges in Kanpur a group of local Sanyasis who were there, came and
approached him. After offering their pranams they invited him to smoke charas.
My father was shocked and we hastily returned home! Whenever he went on walks
in Lal Bungalow area of Kanpur there were dozens of people to touch his feet
and seek his blessings as he always had typical tilak on his big forehead!!
During 1989 we visited Banares, Allahabad and Gaya along
with my parents, Uncle and Aunt as well as a widowed Bhuva to offer our prayers
in every holy place. Apart from that my parents visited Badrinath, Rishikesh,
Kedarnath and Naimisaranyam.
………………….
To be continued …
No comments:
Post a Comment