AN ODE TO MY
DAD……6
After repeated pep talk and motivation he reconciled to the
fact that the changes were irreversible and started becoming normal slowly. But
he never regained his gait, free movements of hands and most of the time was
lying down on the cot. Whenever we called him he responded with a “ mmm”. His
speech was almost gone. Whenever he tried to speak we took extra interest and
started listening to him very attentively to understand what he wanted to
convey.
In such a situation I had to leave with family for Malawi.
He was aware of that before the operation and bid us good bye coming up to the
main gate on 1st May’1995. When my mother was crying he consoled her
and asked her to see off us cheerfully. We returned from Malawi in 1999.
Slowly he was sinking and sinking in front of everyone’s
eyes. But all of us were helpless. A water bed was arranged to prevent any bed
sore formation. The room was air-conditioned so that he did not feel any
perspiration in humid Chennai climate.
We take small things for granted. Winking of eyes is an
important function. This lubricates eyes, averts accumulation of dirt and
infection. As father had almost lost his left side function, left eye had lost
winking ability. Therefore the eye was stitched to avert infection. Cleaning of
nostril was impossible for him. So every time he was bathed special care to be
taken to clean both the nostrils. Feeding after sometime was becoming a night
mare. A man so fond of good delicious food survived on nasal tube feeding
through which liquid food was sent through syringes.
Every time during our visit I took interest in bathing him,
giving a haircut, shave and body massage with cocoa butter. These things he
enjoyed greatly. All the daughters in law of the house, brothers,
everyone-including neighbors helped in lifting him and taking him to toilet
etc.
We celebrated Diwali of 1999 with great enthusiasm. Father
was dressed in new clothes and snaps were taken. He was also looking cheerful.
I was of the hope that he would reach new millennium. But by the first week of
Nov. "99 he was finding it difficult to breath. On 11th Nov’1999
he passed away in sleep. There was no screaming or any such disturbance. We
were with him till 4.45 AM. My youngest brother had to go to Kancheepuram and
he was seen of by 5 AM. I took a small nap from 5 to 6 AM and when I went to
see Dad all fluid from his body were out and he had gone to his eternal sleep !
He was 72 years old by then.
My father’s end was like that of Bheeshma in Mahabharat who
was awaiting the dawn of Uttrayan lying on the bed of arrows. He endured the
pain for less than ten days. In my father’s case it was for nearly five long
years.
What I learnt from my father’s life is :-
1.
Honesty is the best policy.
2.
Pretension doesn’t take anyone for long in life
so be what you are.
3.
No man is an island. We all need one another in
good as well as in bad times.
4.
There is nothing more important in one’s life
than one’s family.
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