Friday, August 11, 2017

AN ODE TO MY DAD

AN ODE TO MY DAD……6
After repeated pep talk and motivation he reconciled to the fact that the changes were irreversible and started becoming normal slowly. But he never regained his gait, free movements of hands and most of the time was lying down on the cot. Whenever we called him he responded with a “ mmm”. His speech was almost gone. Whenever he tried to speak we took extra interest and started listening to him very attentively to understand what he wanted to convey.
In such a situation I had to leave with family for Malawi. He was aware of that before the operation and bid us good bye coming up to the main gate on 1st May’1995. When my mother was crying he consoled her and asked her to see off us cheerfully. We returned from Malawi in 1999.
Slowly he was sinking and sinking in front of everyone’s eyes. But all of us were helpless. A water bed was arranged to prevent any bed sore formation. The room was air-conditioned so that he did not feel any perspiration in humid Chennai climate.
We take small things for granted. Winking of eyes is an important function. This lubricates eyes, averts accumulation of dirt and infection. As father had almost lost his left side function, left eye had lost winking ability. Therefore the eye was stitched to avert infection. Cleaning of nostril was impossible for him. So every time he was bathed special care to be taken to clean both the nostrils. Feeding after sometime was becoming a night mare. A man so fond of good delicious food survived on nasal tube feeding through which liquid food was sent through syringes.
Every time during our visit I took interest in bathing him, giving a haircut, shave and body massage with cocoa butter. These things he enjoyed greatly. All the daughters in law of the house, brothers, everyone-including neighbors helped in lifting him and taking him to toilet etc.
We celebrated Diwali of 1999 with great enthusiasm. Father was dressed in new clothes and snaps were taken. He was also looking cheerful. I was of the hope that he would reach new millennium. But by the first week of Nov. "99 he was finding it difficult to breath. On 11th Nov’1999 he passed away in sleep. There was no screaming or any such disturbance. We were with him till 4.45 AM. My youngest brother had to go to Kancheepuram and he was seen of by 5 AM. I took a small nap from 5 to 6 AM and when I went to see Dad all fluid from his body were out and he had gone to his eternal sleep ! He was 72 years old by then.
My father’s end was like that of Bheeshma in Mahabharat who was awaiting the dawn of Uttrayan lying on the bed of arrows. He endured the pain for less than ten days. In my father’s case it was for nearly five long years.
What I learnt from my father’s life is :-
1.       Honesty is the best policy.
2.       Pretension doesn’t take anyone for long in life so be what you are.
3.       No man is an island. We all need one another in good as well as in bad times.
4.       There is nothing more important in one’s life than one’s family.



 


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