PERSONAL TOUCH

PERSONAL TOUCH :-

Earlier days every family function was done with a difference….The difference of PERSONAL TOUCH!

 Our family marriage functions are all conducted mostly in very personal manner with each and everyone attending to the other person’s needs with a” personal touch”. Thus whether it is breakfast or lunch or dinner there would be someone personally going around the hall inviting both bride and bridegroom’s side repeatedly. The same person would ensure that elders are walked to the dining hall with proper escorts so that they do not trip or miss any step and fall. Once seated everyone would be served not just by the caterer in an impersonal manner, but personally attended to by some of the responsible group so that everyone’s need is attended to. Coffee with sugar, without sugar, tea, green tea, people who do not take tea or coffee they are given a choice of Bourn Vita or Horlicks etc.

There are Uncles who are called as “Santhegathu Sambar”..I mean someone who serves Sambhar so that in case of doubt the diner can have the same for idli in breakfast or with rice in lunch or dinner. There is a person called Ganga jalam mama (Jalam means water in pure elitist’s Tamil).One who serves drinking water. Now a day instead of jug full of water he places mini mineral water bottles. For elders  he helps them to pen the water bottle as their right hands may be dirty smeared with idly and chutney as they may be eating their breakfast.  

After they finish their breakfast/ lunch or snacks sessions there are family members to remind them to have their medicines. Some families even keep Para- medics in standby mode to help people to take insulin shot!

In Thirunelveli district of Tamil Nadu there is a saying in Tamil “Oil applied without proper pressure of the hand and the feast served without proper personal attentions both go waste”!  So every event be it small or big always happen with proper personal invitation, repeated welcome smile and attention by specially deputed family members.

In my family, my father being the youngest among all his siblings had the unenviable job of inviting every family member with invitation, gifts etc. by personally visiting all the family members. He used to take my mother and us to these sessions. Therefore I had learnt this from my childhood. My uncle would depute children like us to attend to all the guests need. I always used to get the dining hall duty and my brother used to be in charge of serving the “Thamboolam Bags” ..A bag containing a coconut, sweets, beetle leaves, supari (areca nut), Haldi( Turmeric)  and Kumkum.  Thus these values got greatly embedded in us.

Another important feature was seeing the guests off. We had the unenviable job of ensuring that the guests leave with proper escort, driver in a pooled manner so that no one was in any sort of trouble due to delayed departure. We used to even seek help from known people so the guests volunteer to drop one another. Thus optimization of limited resources was the order of the day. We used to get special pat from my uncle for that!!

We were also to ensure that the snaps of key family members with the groom and bride were shot with neglect so no one’s presence was missed!

The other day we travelled to attend a wedding from Hyderabd to Chennai. There were girls looking like some “cyclone victims” all uniformly dressed in the same color sarees, leaving their hair in a free falling style. As we approached the hall one girl came and gave us an unimpressive Name Sake” Namasthe” welcoming us. Then another took us to the dining hall and third served us snacks. Everyone was smiling with their teeth and not with their “hearts”!

There was a reception session and all family members were dancing to the tunes of some nondescript band! The family members were waving to us to join the dance. But we waited for the main event to commence. We waited for pretty long time and lost our interest in the event. Then we chose to hand over the gift to one of the “Cyclone Victims” as she was the one who come to accompany us to dining to the dining hall and came to portico to see us off !!!!   

In these days of Whats app invites and e-invites what more can one expect! I think we should also make our presence felt by some Laser Show!!